Reflecting on Friendship

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My pudgy little fingers took the M&M from the palm of April’s hand. I popped It in my mouth, trying not to giggle as we “raced” to see who could melt away the candy coating and get to the chocolate first without biting into it.

Friendship came easy to those two giggling four-year-old girls.

We had no expectations thrust upon the time we spent together. Our moms arranged playdates and we played. Simple.

As I looked back over years of journal entries, I realized that I struggled in friendships as an adult. It was one of three topics that reoccurred frequently in my journal. The first being my struggles with food (we talked about last week) and the third was parenting (our topic next week).

Friendships can be complicated. Actually, at times, they can be downright messy. Riddled with unmet needs and expectations, tattered with hurt feelings and unspoken offenses, friendship can be like walking on ice in high heel shoes.

On the other hand, friendship can be sweet and easy. I’ve walked through raising my children with a friend who has children the same age as mine. Our common walk has bonded us in a unique way. With schedules full and families growing we developed an easy friendship that ebbs and tides with the flow of life.

For quite some time, I struggled in a friendship with a friend who didn’t communicate well. I felt a conflict had wedged itself between us, maybe even an offense. But, she never spoke about it. She just pushed me away.  As I read entries dating back more than a decade, I could see tear stains on the pages. The words written were begging God for some type of resolution.  It broke my heart to think that I may have hurt her without realizing it. I never knew what happened.

Finally, in one of my journal entries, I wrote these words, “I resolve to no longer struggle or concern myself with it (the friendship). I shall trust You, God, to bring her to call as You see fit. If not, I will know for whatever reason, this is what is best.”

I didn’t see any more journal entries on the subject again.

I found comfort in the Word as I struggled with feelings of failure in this friendship.

“They (Paul and Barnabas) had such a sharp disagreement that the parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cypress, but Paul chose Sylas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.”   Acts 15:40 & 41

Even the great men of the Bible had some difficult relationship experiences.

We’ll talk more about friendship on Thursday.

See you then!

Love,

DLF

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